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Just my attempt at churning out some stories or poems. I know they're not the best,
but writing is a form of catharsis and it's something I enjoy doing very much.
This site is under construction so forgive me if some of the links don't work properly
or if some of the stories don't make much sense!

I started this site in 2005 and as you can see, never quite had much time to update it, hehe.

Well, that's it - thanks for dropping by.

Oh and the stories are best enjoyed with a hot cup of your favourite drink, haha!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Even Angels Fall - [Chapter 1]

Callisto shut the book with a sigh and leaned her forehead on the palm of her hand. She didn’t like what she read but she didn’t really have much choice. Deep in thought, she was staring out her bedroom window, with her spectacles dangling on a finger. Night was falling on Evram Street and she was glad. There was something magical about night time that helped her think better.

She rubbed the dull ache in her chest - it had been there since yesterday when she had discovered Sarah's death. She had felt it, more like. She had felt Sarah die and the shock had nearly ripped her apart. At first it had been a piercing pain, penetrating slowly through her then she had felt her life ebb away in excruciating steps that had left her shaking and unconsolable. Gradually, the pain had numbed but she still felt it, and she felt the loss as clearly as an amputee would.

Her sister was dead. She felt the anger simmering inside her, bubbling furiously through her veins as she thought of the cruelty. How they must triumph. But as soon as it had come, the anger dissipated, leaving sadness in it's wake. It was her fault. She was the oldest and she should have known better than to let them separate. It had been a stupid rift between them but she had had enough. Sarah had been the most powerful of them all, a fact she had tried not to be jealous of, but Sarah had been the most stubborn one of them all. She had repeatedly refused to acknowledge her gift and had cast it aside, prefering to mix with the mortals. And then..

Callisto shut her eyes even as tears brimmed, threatening to spill. She didn't want to think back to the incident. The fateful night, two decades ago which had resulted in Sarah leaving.

There were three. And then there were two. The voice whispered inside her again. Callisto opened her eyes again and straightened her shoulders with grim resolve. Those who had seen her fall apart yesterday would not have recognized the strength in her eyes. She had made a mistake once. She wouldn't make it again. She knew what she had to do now.

She left the room and padded noiselessly across the hall to the stairway leading to her attic. The stairs creaked with every step and outside, it was chilly but Callisto felt warmth surging through her. Here was the power. 3 generations of women had lived in this house, each one strengthening it in her own way and now, the house was like a fortress to her. Even while she felt the warmth, Callisto couldn't help feeling a tinge of sadness at the past. But then she straightened her shoulders and resolved to set things right.

She opened the attic door and walked in the dark to the centre of the room. This was her domain. Her hands reached out into the dark and she found what she was searching for. Her Book of Shadows and the light switch.

She found the page she was searching for, sat cross-legged on the floor and began to read. She closed her eyes, chanting softly, barely audible words, words that they used to chant as little children, in jest, but never seriously. This time was different. This time she meant business.

Winds picked up speed and leaves swirled on the sidewalks. Lightning flashed a brilliant streak of pure white outside and thunder roared so loudly it seemed as though the sky was being ripped into two..but she knew she was safe. She felt so much furor bursting through her veins that at that moment, she felt as if she was capable of anything.

Her eyes flashed open wildly as they turned a stormy black. She could see the evil outside, mocking her, taunting at her, trying to get inside her head as she fought for control. She could feel it clawing against the windows, unable to get into the house and could taste it's glory. She was almost done with the spell and she could sense the evil eyeing her, daring her to recite the last few lines. The face that stared back as her was one she knew well, one that had tormented her for years. It's lips curled cruelly, mimicking hers, almost as if it was going to recite the lines with her. She was almost done, almost..

The attic door burst open and Mia ran in in her bathrobe. She grabbed Callisto by the shoulders, screaming and seeing that Callisto's eyes had glazed over, slapped her sister, hard, then started shaking her again. Luthor, Callisto's husband, ran in a split second later, shielding their daughter.

As quickly as it had begun, the storm ceased.

"Are you insane?!" Mia shrieked at her sister. The two stared back at each other, both breathing hard, black eyes flashing. "You know you're not supposed to do it alone. You could have been killed!"

Callisto pulled away from Mia's strong grip furiously and paced the floor. "I could have taken them. Have you forgotten what they did? They had no right!"

"I didn't forget," Mia said, her voice softening. She understood where all the rage was coming from. She caught Luthor's eye and saw that he too, understood. "I also didn't forget what happened twenty years ago and how important it is for us to stick together. We don't have any use for revenge, Call. That's not our kind and we have other things to take care of."

Callisto stared out the window at the night, now as peaceful as it had been before she had intervened. She leaned her forehead against the window pane and shut her eyes. The pain was still there but she knew Mia was right. She hated that Mia was right, but that didn't change fact.

"Callisto." Luthor spoke quietly. Without a word, he passed their daughter to Mia, who nodded silently, agreeing to put Gabrielle to bed. He moved towards his wife and stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders.

Callisto felt the warmth in his touch as she turned to face him. "I don't know what to do Luthor..I feel so wrongly about everything.."

Luthor silenced her words with a kiss. "What happened twenty years ago wasn't your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself. Come to bed," he urged. "We'll resolve things with a clear mind tomorrow."

Callisto smiled weakly, through the tears in her eyes. Dear Luthor. He was good for her. "You go ahead. I need a breather first."

Luthor stared at her, trying to determine whether she'd use the opportunity to cast another spell and she gave him a slight nudge. "Go. I won't be so stupid again. Not twice in one night, anyway."

Luthor nodded, as though satisfied, and left the room. Callisto stood by herself, letting the shadows of the past haunt her for a moment. Then she left the room and padded noiselessly across the hall to where her daughter, Gabrielle slept. She looked down at her daughter's sleeping form and kissed her cheek softly.

"I won't let anything happen to you," she whispered, clutching her amethyst pendant tightly, letting it soothe her. Then she climbed into the bed and cuddled her little girl. It was a long time before she finally drifted off to sleep.

-----------------------

Lexy stepped off the train platform, her backpack slung over one shoulder. She couldn't quite put a word to her feelings then. She was still grieving her mother's death, of course, but the set of instructions her mother had given her had been precise and had kept her busy – with little time to ponder over yesterday. Was it just yesterday? She couldn’t believe how time flew. After the funeral, Lexy had packed her belongings, took the money from her mother’s safe and left. That sounded easy. In truth, it had taken her a long time to pack. Every item of clothing held memories of her mother, memories of far, far happier times. And when she had gone into her mother’s room, everything had felt so normal. She had felt her mother's presence so strongly! She had wished so strongly that she could simply wake up from this nightmare but of course she couldn’t. Because it wasn't a nightmare. Her mother was gone. Gone! The word sounded so final. With tears choking her throat making it burn, she had opened her mother’s safe – the combination which she knew by hard and taken the money and her mother’s most prized possession. A picture of her father.

Lexy had never known her father. Her mother had never spoken unkindly of him, and had merely said that he was killed in a car accident. All her life, Lexy had accepted her mother’s explanation. Explanation suffice to fill maybe a page but Lexy had never minded. She was happy with her mother. The two of them had paired off well enough. But now, she was desperate for something to hold on to, something that gave her roots and that gave her at least the smallest sense of belonging.

She had then taken the 11.30pm westbound train and had alighted – according to the explicit instructions – at Evram Street. Lexy was uncertain why her mother had wanted her to go there, but she hoped that whatever destination she would arrive at, it would offer her comfort, security and hopefully, the explanations she so desperately searched for.

Why the instructions? Why had the timing been so appropriate? Just before her mother’s death, her mother had given her the instructions. As if she knew.

A taxi’s horn jolted Lexy out of her thoughts and she jerked back, appalled that she had unknowingly wandered into the street. The driver leaned out the window and shouted at her, waving a pudgy fist in the air. Lexy merely ignored him and ignored the stares she had attracted from the other people around including a boy with messy, dark hair and hurried across the street to the rows of taxis, waiting.

She walked up to the nearest taxi and slipped inside, dropping her backpack heavily as she did so.

"Where to?" the driver asked.

"Here," Lexy handed him the note with the scribbled address on it. Then she sat back in her seat and folded her arms, hoping he wouldn't try to start a conversation with her.

The driver took the note and his eyes widened, as he looked at the address. Miss Callisto's residence. In a place as small as Evram Street, everyone knew everyone's business and he knew for a fact that she had not had any visitors, not since that one night when alot of funny things had happened and her sister had left. Strange, it was! He was tempted to ask the girl who looked to be about the same age as his own daughter but one look at her red-rimmed eyes shut him up. He wasn't comfortable with women crying and he wasn't about to have one bawling in his back seat, no sir!

Oblivious to all of his thoughts and lost in her own thoughts, Lexy failed to notice that the boy with messy, dark hair was standing just outside the taxi or his intense stare as she boarded the bus and how his unblinking eyes seemed to pierce sharply through hers.

-------------------------------


It took about fifteen minutes for them to reach the destination. But it felt alot faster to Lexy who was feeling really nervous as she wondered what fate awaited her. She felt calm, secured in the knowledge that her mother would not intentionally mean harm to her, but she feared being unwanted or cast away. What then would she do?

Lexy resolved that whatever it was, she would hold her chin high and be strong. No one would be allowed to take advantage of an eighteen year old. An eighteen year old turning nineteen in November.

... to be continued

Monday, April 10, 2006

Can You Feel It?

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Can you feel it?
The rhythm, the laughter, the beat,
The music’s so hypnotic, so free,
But she’s spinning out of reach,
Oh, she’s spinning out of your reach.

Her skirt lifts, twirls,
Offers you a tantalizing glimpse,
She smiles at you, her eyes dance, as she slips away,
But she’s not yours,
Oh, she was never yours.

Can you feel it?
The rhythm, the laughter, the beat,
Everything’s spinning so free,
But it’s only for a moment,
Oh, it’s only there for a moment.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

One Last Deal

She relaxed her grip almost as though she was relinquishing her hold on life. Slowly her fingers flexed open, knuckles white and she stared at their colour in fascination. She was brought back to a memory, a memory from a long time ago. That colour was familiar. She had seen it before.

She could almost feel her heart beat faster and could almost hear her father’s words as he spoke to her harshly demanding she hold out her hand so he could cane it. That was in primary six, shortly after the results of their mid-year exams were released. She hadn’t meant to fail Math. It wasn’t that she was no good at it, she just got carried away with play time. As she stretched out her hand slowly, the fingers trembling, the knuckles a stark white in contrast to her black shirt, hot tears slid unbidden down her cheeks.

That night, she hadn’t been able to sleep. She had been so determined to jump out her second-story window especially when she gazed at the red streaks across her palms. She was pulled back only by the fear of the unknown and because she didn’t want to die just yet. She had never felt so unloved before. Or so she thought.

In secondary three, she had fallen in love. He was her senior and was more experienced in matters of the heart. Love made her giddy, it turned every day into a colourful fantasy – so abstract was the colour that she had been unable to see straight. Desperately in love, they had snuck around together without her parents’ knowledge at the same time proudly declaring his affections to her friends.

Well, she grew up fast. When he dumped her for her best friend – her best friend! – her entire world came crashing down. She spent the better half of her secondary three life in agony, crying herself to sleep every night and picking quarrels with everyone. That had been the time for her to grow up.

She had managed to pick herself up, managed to pull back from the dark abyss of utter despair by telling herself she was strong and that she could make it through the rain. Oh how she wished she could say it was religion that helped her recover but religion was only the half of it. Immersing herself in co-curricular activites had been the key. Then again, it was God’s will that she had survived that heartache.

For a long time, she wasn’t happy. She merely lived her life as it was - school, homework, revision and eventually the O levels. After being streamed to a college, her life picked up.

She fell in love again, although was better cautioned this time. The boy she fell in love with was the one who truly made her happy and whom she felt truly cared for her and thus, she was able to reciprocate his affections. At last she could smile again.

She smiled as she thought of this happy memory but then the pain slicing through her reminded her of where she was. She couldn’t smile at a time like this! The irony of the situation almost made her laugh. Somebody cried out and she realized with surprise it was her. She wondered why time stood still and why everything seemed to be moving in slow-motion.

Her husband, he was a fine man who cared for her and who supported her through the hard times. She loved him, yes she did. Of course there were hard times, quarrels but they had stuck by each other and he was her partner in life. They were a team.

She could almost see his smile in her mind now. She wanted him to know she was thinking of him. She thought of no one but him at this point in time. Did he know – how much she loved him? His face was replaced by her parents. They loved her too and she loved them, loved them strongly for all they had done for her. She hadn’t managed to visit them last weekend – she hoped fervently that they understood.

She was hitting the ground. Her body was moving beyond her control and her vision was dimming. She blinked, surprised to find her eyes yet. ‘Not yet!’ Her mind screamed at her. This was it. But she wanted to remember one final thing first. What was it? Yes, the reason why she hadn’t visited her parents.


The doctor had smiled at her as he conveyed the news. She felt emotions coursing through her but the one overriding all was joy. Pure, complete joy. Of course she was happy! More than happy! Now she could fulfill another role in her life. Cheeks glowing, she walked on air all the way back to the car and drove on air all the way back home.

And her baby had been born on a beautiful December morning. A full seven pounds! With perfect, pearly toes and even a little tuft of black hair. And even though everyone said it was too early to tell, she knew the baby looked just like him – the man she had chosen to spend the rest of her life with.

Her vision was rapidly fading. She could see spots of white lights. She desperately wanted to hang on, and she tried to make deals with God. She promised never to miss another prayer if He gave her this one chance. Those deals had sometimes worked for her over the course of her thirty-nine years and maybe this was one of those times. Maybe it was just another nightmare and she had to shake herself awake.

But the pain she felt was all too real. Slicing through her gut. She looked down at her white knuckles and was surprised to find them now a deep, dark red. It looked like tomato ketchup but was a lot warmer. It was an accident, one minute she had been cutting the watermelon, the next minute her hand had slipped and… Her stomach looked all funny too. With all her final strength, she gripped the handle of the knife and pulled it out. With that, her legs buckled and she crumbled to the floor.

She made her last deal with God. Please God, keep my family safe, watch over them and let them be happy and please God, let them know how much they mean to me.


On the kitchen table beside the half-cut watermelon, baby cries could be heard on the baby monitor.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Silly As It May Sound


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My life was in shambles,
before you came along.
Heartbreak was rampant.
I had no one to talk to,
no one to cry to,
I felt like I was all alone.
Silly as it may sound,
I shut everyone out.

Even after meeting you,
I played you like another game.
I was jaded, can you blame me?
I never took your words seriously,
I never took you seriously.
Silly as it may sound,
I never even took myself seriously.

Ups and downs
chronicle our time together,
Well, mainly downs.
We were young, careless but not free.
We tied ourselves to each other,
obsessed over each other,
We kept quarelling
about the slightest things.
Silly as it may sound,
we didn't know what we had.

Our time apart,
was hell for me.
Everyday was a struggle,
I had to immerse myself in other things.
It was a payback year -
I was mean to you,
you were mean to me.
Silly as it may sound,
I cried myself to sleep.

To be honest,
things started to look up.
The process was excruciatingly slow,
I could not let go.
How could I?
When I had lost what I wanted most?
Yet I struggled forth.
I moved on, supposedly.
Silly as it may sound,
I never did.

We went out,
had a pretty ordinary time.
I knew then I'd rather have my teeth drilled,
than to try to be your 'friend'.
I told you a secret,
you didn't seem to care.
Silly as it may sound,
you didn't seem to care.

You messaged me that very night.
That night I almost didn't reply you.
Can you understand my irritation?
I was finally moving on.
I felt as though you were playing me,
but you weren't.
You confessed,
and slowly, wounds were healed.
Silly as it may sound,
we got back together.

And you know what?
It doesn't sound so silly after all. =)